It will end on the day of thieves :: Submission deadline

It will end on the day of thieves, merchants and orators. A suitable sentiment for either end-time prophecies or submission deadlines. At Artichoke Haircut we do occasionally collude, conspire, share tea and fondle what some call fringe groups or crazies or cults, but we'll leave those discussions for another time. For now we'll just assume this sentiment means it's getting to be the "end-times" (wink) for submissions. It's the last week to submit in time for our Spring 2012 issue. The deadline is December 15th. This Thursday. Get 'em in.

Read guidelines here: Submit
Send things here: submit [at] artichokehaircut [dot] com

P.S. If you didn't click on the link above, please, do yourself a favor and click on this: William Tapley. This guy is so devastatingly, beautifully mad that he gives me a headache while simultaneously making parts tingle I'm ashamed to name or talk about on this public of a forum. (Hint: find "Denver Airport")

You're Allowed :: December 1st

Every month I run into the same problem: I try and think of a new thing or things to say about a reading that goes basically on the same trajectory from month to month. Maybe this month I'll  try metaphors, some of which may or may not explain the general ambiance of that room on that day when we're all sitting in it:

-Dramamine is used to prevent nausea and when the ocean is far from our heads we feel sad.
-Fireflies in a field appear as strange landing pads for the kinds of birds that don't exist or won't land.
-The oranges are in a bowl. The bowl is on the table. We cannot eat them. If we do it will no longer be summer. They rot. It is still summer. It is about to snow.
-Alcohol has made us speak in a soft voice to our feet. The city is large. We may never hike again.
-When the dishes are used and piled in the sink I feel as if I have lots of friends.
-Buses have pretense of community. So do toes.
-Timmy Reed likes Wal-mart. There aren't that many ways to say hello. Only old or worried men say hello and feel it in their throat. Timmy Reed likes Wal-mart.
-Succulent plants look like they should taste like tequila but in a much different way than a pig + a cow should taste like a hot dog.

That ought to explain everything. Yes? Good. But if it doesn't, please send all questions to nobodyslistening@wedontcare.com.

Bios:

-Megan Boyle has jumped into a freezing cold bay though no one wanted her to. She came out smiling and smoked a cigarette. She has broken her ribs on a seesaw at 3am. She married Tao Lin in Vegas. The preacher was old and looked tired. The garishness of ceremony happened only virtually. She has peed in your sandbox. She has a new book out called "Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee" (Muumuu House). She has been published by online places: here, here, here, here, etc. etc.


-Sarah Jane Miller hosts the Town Square Reading series at the marvelous Minás Gallery in Hampden, 3rd Sundays, and she wants to see you there. When not working as a saddle-shoed librarian, she can be found running, cooking curries, and watching old Bela Lugosi films.

-Little Lungs Little Hips is a band. They are girls. Grietje Smid may kick your ass and plays violin. Megan Lloyd plays guitar, sings and is Little Lungs Little Hips.
 

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You're Allowed :: November 3rd

It feels like forever since we've done one of these, these, reading-things. Though it's only been a little over a month. But no matter, we've missed the hell out of you, my darlings (note the hint of Royal Tenenbaums).  So this month, in order to get back into the swing of things, we're coming back to Dionysus with a bang. We are proud to feature two great poets, Mike Young and Kendra Kopelke. And as always we'll cap the night off with an open mic.

See ya'll on the third floor.

-Mike Young is the author of Look! Look! Feathers (Word Riot Press 2010), a book of stories, and We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough (Publishing Genius Press 2010), a book of poems. He co-edits NOÖ Journal and runs Magic Helicopter Press. He lives in Baltimore, MD.

You can read some of Mike's work here or here or here or here or here or here.

-Kendra Kopelke is a widely acclaimed poet and a fixture on the Baltimore literary scene. She directs the MFA in Creative Writing & Publishing Arts at the University of Baltimore. She has been nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize and was named “Best Poet” by Baltimore Magazine in 2001. Kopelke’s poetry collections include: Eager Street; Carpe Diem, Ants (the link has nothing to do with the book, it just reminded me of the title); Bladderville; and Hopper’s Women. She is also included in the anthology, When Divas Dance. She is founding editor of Passager, a national literary journal.

Words & Whisky :: You're Allowed

So what’s with the horse head? A couple of you may have noticed pictures of an editor dressed in a centaur-esque getup… No, it might be more accurate to say he’s the opposite of a centaur, with the head of a horse and the body of a man… Hold on, is that the opposite?… Wouldn’t the opposite of a centaur have the body of an animal opposite a horse, like a mermaid? No, that doesn’t make sense either. How can anything be opposite a horse?



Anyway, he kind of looks like Bottom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and his image has been floating around Facebook and here on the blog. You may have even seen him sitting at one of our readings. Well, for the last three or four months we’ve been working on a short film which will premier at our next reading with Marion Winik, Dave K. (bio below) and a very secret and special guest* on September 1st. I’d post something of a summary of the film here but I’m not exactly sure how. It’s just absurd, and that’s how we like it. You’ll just have to come to the reading and see for yourself.

You know the drill, third floor of Dionysus, 8:30ish, and as always, fun and drinks abound.

Oh yeah, and coming soon, Halloween...


Bio:

Dave K. is a writer, graphic designer, and theater tech who lives in Baltimore. He is a regular contributor to Adfreak, TSB Mag, and the Gettysburg Times, and his creative writing has been published in The Bullet, Ghoti Hook, Battered Suitcase, the Nautilus Engine, ULA Redux, The Light Ekphrastic, and Welter, among others. Dave K. is also a small, dense star composed mostly of electron-degenerate matter.

*The guest has been revealed... Shucker (onemanawsomeband).

Another Installment of "You're Allowed"

This month we present two of our favorite writers, Stephen Matanle and Lily Herman. Plus we will be premiering our very strange trailer for the reading series and the magazine. This is a must see reading. Or maybe not, this damn thing is out of our control. Who knows what is going to happen.

And as always, the open mic will have 10 available slots that are first come first serve. If you would like to read come early, they always fill up.

See you on the third floor.

Preview of Artichoke Haircut Vol. Two

Open publication - Free publishing - More fiction

Here is a quick preview of some of the work you'll find in our newest issue. If you like it you can buy a copy at our online store to your right. Enjoy.

Artichoke Haircut Volume Two is now available!

The response we have gotten for our latest issue of Artichoke Haircut has been incredible. Our magazine release party last night at Dionysus could not have been more of a success. Harwood could not have sounded better. The submissions we included in this issue could not have been more enlightening, more funny, more moving, more well written, etc., etc. And, I guess it goes without saying, our egos are now swelling.

In all seriousness, we really are humbled by the response. We could not have asked for a better group of writers and readers who constantly surprise us with the quality of their work, and with their support. Keep sending in your work, and keep coming to our readings, and we'll keep trying to put out the best magazine we know how to.  

You can get the latest copy of the magazine at our online store to the right of this post. Also we will be stocking area independent bookstores in the coming weeks.

For pictures of Artichoke Haircut Vol. Two release party click here.

Words & Whisky :: You're Allowed

For the second installment of our monthly reading series we have quite a treat for you. Artichoke Haircut is releasing the second volume of their odd little magazine, and to celebrate there will be drinking, readings from the contributors, an open mic (as always), and a live set from Harwood. The magazine is fresh off the press and we're excited to open the box to the world. Though saying it like that reminds me of Pandora's box––maybe I should delete that last sentence. Nah. We promise, there are no plagues or diseases in this box, just a bunch of shiny, happy books.  

Same time and place as always (see the flyer for details). Come on down.

Editors' Shorts :: Vol. 1.5

Open publication - Free publishing - More art

So we received about 230 submissions (over 500 individual pieces) for issue number two.  We’re happy to have had the chance to read/discuss/analyze the hell out of some great pieces.  We’re even happier to be getting some new blood into this issue.  We will be publishing writers from faraway places.  We will be publishing photography.  Most importantly, though, we won’t be publishing ourselves.  It’s great to finally have so much to work with.

We are, however, still arrogant and self-centered, so we the editors compiled some of our recent work in an online issue, which we hope you will download.  It’s free, and we put a lot of work into it. 

For anyone still wondering what our magazine is all about, take a look.  Maybe you can derive some sense of what our criteria might be.  If you figure it out, maybe you could give us a heads up.
 
Thanks for reading, and keep watching for new stuff.

(To download click here and go to the far right box with the down arrow, otherwise you can just read it online.)

You're Allowed :: Words & Whisky

It is now official, Artichoke Haircut will hold a monthly reading on the first Thursday of every month on the third floor of Dionysus Lounge. So if you're going to take advice from me – and I'm not 100% sure why you would – you might as well just go ahead and take that following Friday off work from here on out. Because both you and I know you're not going to be able to handle the morning after.

And to start off our monthly reading series we have two very talented and very odd writers (seriously, they are the oddest people we know, but we mean that in the best possible way). We are thrilled to be featuring the prose styling of a young Baltimore icon, Timmy Reed, and the quirky/crazy poetry of an up and coming Baltimore icon, Erik Pecukonis. I really can't imagine why you'd want to miss either one of these talented writers.

We'll see you there.

Bios:

Timmy Reed is an endangered, sub-intelligent hominid from North Baltimore. He writes stuff in hieroglyphics and has it translated by slaves. Follow his micro-awesome-short-rad-flash-supercool  fiction on Twitter at @BMORETIMMYREED. Also, check out the Bicycle Review on June 15th for a short story about neighborhood associations. Buy him a drink sometime maybe. Don't sleep.

Erik Pecukonis is, well... come to the reading and you'll see.