It will end on the day of thieves :: Submission deadline

It will end on the day of thieves, merchants and orators. A suitable sentiment for either end-time prophecies or submission deadlines. At Artichoke Haircut we do occasionally collude, conspire, share tea and fondle what some call fringe groups or crazies or cults, but we'll leave those discussions for another time. For now we'll just assume this sentiment means it's getting to be the "end-times" (wink) for submissions. It's the last week to submit in time for our Spring 2012 issue. The deadline is December 15th. This Thursday. Get 'em in.

Read guidelines here: Submit
Send things here: submit [at] artichokehaircut [dot] com

P.S. If you didn't click on the link above, please, do yourself a favor and click on this: William Tapley. This guy is so devastatingly, beautifully mad that he gives me a headache while simultaneously making parts tingle I'm ashamed to name or talk about on this public of a forum. (Hint: find "Denver Airport")

You're Allowed :: November 3rd

It feels like forever since we've done one of these, these, reading-things. Though it's only been a little over a month. But no matter, we've missed the hell out of you, my darlings (note the hint of Royal Tenenbaums).  So this month, in order to get back into the swing of things, we're coming back to Dionysus with a bang. We are proud to feature two great poets, Mike Young and Kendra Kopelke. And as always we'll cap the night off with an open mic.

See ya'll on the third floor.

-Mike Young is the author of Look! Look! Feathers (Word Riot Press 2010), a book of stories, and We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough (Publishing Genius Press 2010), a book of poems. He co-edits NOÖ Journal and runs Magic Helicopter Press. He lives in Baltimore, MD.

You can read some of Mike's work here or here or here or here or here or here.

-Kendra Kopelke is a widely acclaimed poet and a fixture on the Baltimore literary scene. She directs the MFA in Creative Writing & Publishing Arts at the University of Baltimore. She has been nominated twice for the Pushcart Prize and was named “Best Poet” by Baltimore Magazine in 2001. Kopelke’s poetry collections include: Eager Street; Carpe Diem, Ants (the link has nothing to do with the book, it just reminded me of the title); Bladderville; and Hopper’s Women. She is also included in the anthology, When Divas Dance. She is founding editor of Passager, a national literary journal.

DogDownDirty Halloween Party :: You're Allowed

DogDownDirty from Melissa Streat on Vimeo.

For the October reading we've decided to change things up a bit: we've dropped the pretense that anyone cares about words or literature* and for this month only we're just going to have a party, a gore-filled, rafter-swinging, dark, dirty, dance-crazy Halloween party. Why would we do this? Well, we decided to make the change from our normally scheduled reading series for two reasons: one, we just wanted to; and two, all the editors of Artichoke Haircut are themselves writers, and, as you probably know, there are a few things all writers love: one, masks (read persona), and two, carnivals, big debauchery filled carnivals, where every rule you've decided for whatever reason to follow is simply thrown out of consideration for really no reason at all. The whole of the world is one huge masquerade, and what other holiday in all of Christendom allows one the opportunity to have all these at the same time: Halloween (yeah, I know, I thought of Mardi Gras too, but this is Baltimore not New Orleans). So Halloween it is.

There will be drinks, Dj's, and prizes for the craziest costume – judged by us of course. Believe you me, you wanna dress up because you're going to want this prize. For now we can't tell you what it is, but all will be revealed on the 22nd. 

And for those of you who must have their reading in October, there is a solution. Earlier that very day ('round 6 or 6:30) Liam's is also going to host a reading, dubbed the "Hidden History Happy Hour," presented by Melville House. So one could think of the 22nd as a literary extravaganza, or just a reading and a party – whatever. But don't worry, next month we'll be back at Dionysus, and back with our readings and open mic, and all will be back in its rightful place.

So dress up, and we'll see you at Liam's on the 22nd.


*Just in case you didn't get it, this was a joke.

A Film, a Contest, and Lots of Submissions

Artichoke Haircut Presents "You're Allowed" from Melissa Streat on Vimeo.

For Artichoke Haircut, the coming months are going to be filled with readings, benefits, conferences, the opening of submissions for our winter magazine (see more on this below), etc. etc. But for now, let's just take a second to bask in video's warm glowing warming glow.



If you stopped at that last period to watch the video above you may be saying to yourself, "What the hell?" We said that too, but we have an explanation: "Artichoke Haircut Presents "You're Allowed" is an absurdist study of man's journey through the distopian realities of modern city life, while being followed by a pernicious and ominous force that will eventually consume him..." Ha. Do you believe that? You shouldn't. We just like strange things. And during the summer we realized that we had a horse-head mask and few extra moments so we made a movie. We had a lot of fun making it and we really hope you have fun watching it. Don't tear your hair out over meaning.

Now on to some business. Artichoke Haircut is now open for submissions. Submit your poems, stories or artwork to submit@artichokehaitcut.com. Make sure to put contact info in the body of the email, but please do not send us your life's story. We will ask for a brief bio only after we have read your submissions and made our final selections. For more info on submitting to the magazine click here.

In addition to our normal submission process, we are also running a small contest for Baltimore area residents. We are asking local writers to write a poem or a short story (no more than 800 words) that includes the line, "Sorry I got it in your eye." All submissions for the CONTEST should be sent to contest@artichokehaircut.com by October 24th. More on the prize to come. Please do not send contest entries to our submit email.

So that's it for now. There will be much more to come from us, including a blow-out Halloween party (hint hint), but for the time being, start sending us your work!

Preview of Artichoke Haircut Vol. Two

Open publication - Free publishing - More fiction

Here is a quick preview of some of the work you'll find in our newest issue. If you like it you can buy a copy at our online store to your right. Enjoy.

Artichoke Haircut Volume Two is now available!

The response we have gotten for our latest issue of Artichoke Haircut has been incredible. Our magazine release party last night at Dionysus could not have been more of a success. Harwood could not have sounded better. The submissions we included in this issue could not have been more enlightening, more funny, more moving, more well written, etc., etc. And, I guess it goes without saying, our egos are now swelling.

In all seriousness, we really are humbled by the response. We could not have asked for a better group of writers and readers who constantly surprise us with the quality of their work, and with their support. Keep sending in your work, and keep coming to our readings, and we'll keep trying to put out the best magazine we know how to.  

You can get the latest copy of the magazine at our online store to the right of this post. Also we will be stocking area independent bookstores in the coming weeks.

For pictures of Artichoke Haircut Vol. Two release party click here.

Words & Whisky :: You're Allowed

For the second installment of our monthly reading series we have quite a treat for you. Artichoke Haircut is releasing the second volume of their odd little magazine, and to celebrate there will be drinking, readings from the contributors, an open mic (as always), and a live set from Harwood. The magazine is fresh off the press and we're excited to open the box to the world. Though saying it like that reminds me of Pandora's box––maybe I should delete that last sentence. Nah. We promise, there are no plagues or diseases in this box, just a bunch of shiny, happy books.  

Same time and place as always (see the flyer for details). Come on down.

Pretty Absurd, Absurd Pretty Pictures

Hayagriva has fallen to musing.

We don't have a lot of money. But what we do have is a murder of talented friends (just incase that doesn't make sense: "murder" is a term used to describe a flock of crows – e.g. a murder of crows – but I like it here: a group of artist, or cantors squawking for a purpose comprehensible only by themselves; and if they're doing it right, waking people up in the early morning with their bull shit and bombast). Anyway, some very talented friends of ours are making a short-short Artichoke Haircut film, which should be up on our website in the coming weeks. This is just a taste. A few stills from the set. Click here to see a few more.

Photos by Melissa Streat

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." Dr. Samuel Johnson

Editors' Shorts :: Vol. 1.5

Open publication - Free publishing - More art

So we received about 230 submissions (over 500 individual pieces) for issue number two.  We’re happy to have had the chance to read/discuss/analyze the hell out of some great pieces.  We’re even happier to be getting some new blood into this issue.  We will be publishing writers from faraway places.  We will be publishing photography.  Most importantly, though, we won’t be publishing ourselves.  It’s great to finally have so much to work with.

We are, however, still arrogant and self-centered, so we the editors compiled some of our recent work in an online issue, which we hope you will download.  It’s free, and we put a lot of work into it. 

For anyone still wondering what our magazine is all about, take a look.  Maybe you can derive some sense of what our criteria might be.  If you figure it out, maybe you could give us a heads up.
 
Thanks for reading, and keep watching for new stuff.

(To download click here and go to the far right box with the down arrow, otherwise you can just read it online.)

CityLit Festival :: April 16, 2011

Photo by Melissa Streat

Time is such a pain in the ass. There’s writing to be done, edits to be obsessed over, submissions to read, blogs to blather into, page layouts to suck the minutes out of the day – all to be done in seclusion, all to be done in the riptide of imagination, mine or someone else's. I’m not complaining. We, I, publish a magazine and write not because it’ll make us famous or get us laid, but because we love it, because... what else are we going to do. Actually, with every step deeper into the swamp that is the literary world, anyone can see the opportunities for celebrity slip further into absurdity. But we didn’t want to be famous anyway. Right? Fuck you world. I'll do what I do, and you can pay attention or not.

This, of course, is it’s own delusion. It’s own narcissism. One born of long hours in front of a screen insisting to your computer that your words are all that matter.

For me, the remedy to draw me outside myself is the magazine. There is a world outside gazing at my navel, one with people who will speak back to you when you say: Hay, here I am. A world where other writers walk the sidewalk. One where people go to literary festivals with infants strapped to their shoulders donning hand made socks to fit their impossibly tiny feet. A world with people who scowl at flyers depicting two men in a moment of homoerotic bliss. These are not people I encounter often.

Yes I know this all sounds a bit hyperbolic, and it is – I’m writing. What writing isn’t hyperbolic? Yet, it is true I rarely get to see that species of human the Republicans love to pander to: “Real Americans” (though I’m sure the people I’ve seen recently, East Coast People, aren’t actually the people they have in mind, but it’s close). Most of my social interaction takes place drunk at bars, spouting off about, say, the piteous plight King Leer shows is latent in the human condition. And sitting here sober I can see no reason to dispute this claim of Shakespeare's; I think he was right. Though there is another side to that coin. There are people who will step out of their houses, into the chaos of terra firma, to find what little publishing houses are doing, despite the fact they are confined to a wheelchair from losing a leg to a Brown Recluse bite (a terribly sad story a woman told me with a smile on her face, a smile that, to a certain extent, proves Shakespeare wrong). 

Loosing myself in imaginings about my work, and in the imaginings others have conjured with theirs, has saved me from more than one tricky situation – or saved me from admitting to more than one tricky situation. But it is nice to step outside this bubble to see that there are people out there. Though, I guess it could also be said that those people are just contained within a slightly larger bubble, one with its own territorial divisions and special hand shakes. But, be that as it may, that larger bubble is one I rarely wander into, except when the magazine pulls me to sit still in front of a public who will come and oh-my-God talk to me. I don’t regret a second of it.

I would at this point like to thank everyone who came by the Artichoke Haircut booth at the CityLit Festival and hung-out, if only for a second. And even though I am again stuck alone behind a computer screen writing, I feel a bit richer, even by those who turned their noses up at us. Thanks.   

-By Adam Shutz

For more pics from the CityLit Festival click here.

Dionysus Reading :: March 10, 2011

  

Saralyn no like picture

Drunken Weirdos Confess and Entertain

About halfway through the process of putting this magazine together—for the second time—it sort of occurred to me that we might have made a mistake. 

We agreed early on that we would resist all forms of thematic consistency.  All of us had taken classes with a teacher who told us that her definition of “good” writing was “verbal surprise,” and we were all stuck by that in one way or another.  So, we would organize our magazine according to an inexplicably organic sense of flow, rather than adhering to genre associations or the alphabet.  Though I think we’re all too hesitant to admit it for fear of sounding pretentious, our decidedly ambiguous method has always been a point of pride. 

Once we started soliciting submissions, though, the confusion arose:

    “Submit to our magazine,” I would say.
    “What’s it called?”
    “Artichoke Haircut.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “What should I submit?”
    “Whatever you want….something good.”
    “How do I know if it’s good?”
    “Um.”
    “How do you know if it’s good?”
    “I don’t know…”

…And so on.  Eventually, it started to feel like I was talking people out of submitting.  I’d wanted to inspire writers to create something surprising or to find something surprising in their existing work, by robbing them of expectations and parameters.  In practice, the approach just came off confusing and pointless.  At least, that’s what I was thinking as I headed into the March 10th reading at Dionysus. 



It was a rainy night and I was sick.  I remember telling Adam I shouldn’t have driven, having downed a rather heavy portion of cough syrup a few hours prior to our meeting up.  Melissa was worried that no one would show up, and so was I, though I was telling her not to worry.  We stood outside of the bar trying to “heckle” people into joining us.  Our utter lack of mission, which had at one point seemed inspiring, was disturbingly transparent.  So I busied myself, arranging and rearranging tables and chairs while people trickled awkwardly in.
Once the music started (a local band called Us and Us Only), my nerves started to calm a bit.  The open-mic sheet was filling up; the sound of bottles colliding softly behind me indicated an occupied bar.  Before the band’s set was over, I remember even having to shush people with a cold stare. 

The editor readings were no surprise to me (we read each others’ work constantly), but between Saralyn’s sincerity of tone and the disproportionate level of attention given to Adam’s elusive flask of Jameson, I started to feel like people were getting a real idea of what we, as editors and as friends, were all about.  I like to think that our readings helped set the tone for the rambunctious open-mic that followed, something I found delightfully surprising.
It started off abrasive, with Natan Lefkowits’s strange/funny/assaulting poems, and continued on in an intoxicating slur, ranging from embarrassing to desperate to outright hilarious pieces by some of the best writers you’ve probably never heard of.  Somewhere around the middle of Timmy Reed’s story about a tiger-liberation farce, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of success.  I realized that night, listening to the drunken weirdos confess and entertain, that the theme of our magazine had been happening to us, that the community of writers who had decided to assemble at that bar on that Thursday night, for whatever reason, was all the consistency we would need.  It was inexplicably organic.

So…If you read at Dionysus on March 10th and have not submitted, do it now.  If you’re thinking of submitting but don’t know what to say, come out to Dionysus on May 12th and find out what you’re getting yourself into.  Reveal something to us, about you and about ourselves.  Surprise us.

-By Jon Gavazzi

Ian Humphrey... reading?

For more pictures of the reading: www.flickr.com/artichokehaircut

Artichoke Haircut is now in session...

Hay all y'all happy poesy people. We are now accepting submissions for the 2011 Spring issue. Send all submissions (fiction, poetry, art, social security numbers, etc.) to submit@artichokehaircut.com.

Wanna know more: www.artichokehaircut.com/submit.html